MUSINGS

Well, the end of an era is officially here, this fall we will be empty nesters.  Getting The Girl graduated was a hard job.  She was so focused on getting out she lost sight of the process, never have I had to push her so hard as I did this school year.  But, she finished & she's been formally accepted by her chosen university. sigh. One battle at a time. Ex & fam came to her graduation, we played well together & they went straight home.  Not after he carefully & smoothly slipped his way back into the good graces of some old friends.  I don't know what his agenda is but I do know that if he is deciding to try & come back...I'm leaving.  Yeah, I know that sounds extreme & reactionary but I've enjoyed the peace & solitude that has come from knowing he hasn't be here to permeate my life.  I was angry when he first left because I felt like he ditched his only child and me.  He left me holding the bag & I had to ma...

I'm graduating college. I'm finally graduating college. I'm graduating from university. In 8 days, I will be a college graduate. Sorry, I'm still trying to convince myself that this isn't a wild, Percocet induced dream.  My one and only daughter will also be graduating this month, one week after me.  She has fought one hell of a battle the last year and a half, she's done an amazing job.  My little family has been through trial after trial the last couple of years.  Dark shadows clawing at the health of my husband, my child, and perhaps even myself.  The strain on our home has been overwhelming, but we still have a house and we still have our vehicles and we still have food.  And for now, we still have a place to work.  We all got this far, we'll continue to fight until the shadows abate. I still feel strange doing this at 40.  I know there are a lot of people proud of me for returning and finishing, it's not something everyone gets to a...

So, yeah, I've had enough. There's this little video clip that's gone all viral on the interwebs.  It's a portion of a speech made by our illustrious leader a few days ago.  In this clip he dares to mention atrocities that were committed hundreds of years ago...*gasp* by Christians.  The statement he made has caused a huge stir, inciting remarks about history itself and why he'd bring up such a thing.  (DISCLAIMER:  I am not a fan of, nor do I support our current governmental regime in any of it's capacity!!)   Now.  The comments that have been filtering around social media have all been to the extent of "why is he bringing up something so old", or "the Christians didn't persecute the Muslims, they defended themselves".  (these are not exact quotes, if you want to read them, head over to Walton & Johnson on Facebook) Reiterating my disclaimer one more time, so there is no misunderstanding:   I didn't vote for this cat......

As much as I feel like I need   to express the weirdness of this particular holiday season, I'm just not in the mood to.   Yes it's strange, yes I'm having trouble getting into it, but that's what happens when you lose a family member and your kids are grown up.  Instead, there's been something rolling around my little brain pan of late so instead of Christmasy blues...we're going to pick on Americas most popular uber-conservative family:  The Duggars. First off, let me say:  I'm not bashing them, I don't hate or dislike them, and I'm not about to rip apart their way of life. OK, now that that's out of the way.  There's a lot of controversy with how they live and who they are.  Yes they are very devout Baptists and live according to the Patriarchal Movement.  This is a belief that holds the notion the father is the head of the household and the mother his "helpmeet".  Gender roles are very specific and held in high regard.  Thi...

Wow.  First week of school down.  First test in each class down.  I truly never thought I'd be back there.   It's surreal, walking those sidewalks, seeing the old buildings mixed with the new ones.  The library is laid out differently; the student union is under construction; the students are mostly younger than me. I had one good panic attack the day before I started classes.  I wasn't excited, I wasn't peppy, I was terrified.  I had that all too familiar feeling of everything spinning out of my control, spiraling downward into a pit of disaster.  It didn't help that my birthday was looming just 4 days after the first day of school. Out of college for 15 years, out of high school for 19, didn't do great in college the first time around!  Why on Gaia's green Earth did I ever think I could return to University and actually....do something?  Is it because it's paid for?  Am I trying to prove something?  If so, to whom?  Wh...

I read an article on NPR this morning about laziness in America.  It wasn't written to bash anyone or anything, just an observation on life in the US beginning with the founding fathers and their attitudes towards idle time. In our home growing up, we were never allowed to utter the words "I'm bored" without repercussion.  If there were no immediate chores to be done, the answer was to go read a book, which we did with fervor.  Other than that, there was always something to be done whether it was to wipe down baseboards, dust the living room, sweep anything and everything, or pick through peas.  Sleep was not an option.  Naps were reserved for a rare Sunday afternoon and only if mama took one first.  The only real way to get out of work at the house was to leave...in our case, go hide in the woods all afternoon until she was calling us in or we got hurt and just had to get it patched up proper.  Even heading over to hide at a friends house could res...

OK, so you know how a while back I said this year would be as good as I can make it?  Having remarried and found some much needed stability?  Weeeellll.  It looks like things are coming together more than I ever expected. I registered, paid my admin fee, and was accepted back into the University that I quit so many years ago.  I am also eligible for school funds through the Veteran's Administration. I think I'm in shock.  No.  I know I'm in shock. You see I wasn't looking to go back into a degree plan.  I just wanted to take a couple of classes on metal working...nothing fancy.  Those classes, however, are offered as part of a curriculum, therefore are the standard rate if taken alone.  There is no way I could afford a $750 class, much less three of them.  After some panic and some tears, I began to look over the university website and found a link for veterans.  I perused and found a link to a GI bill that I never knew existe...