MUSINGS

It's been so long since I made this a regular thing, I have almost forgotten how to spill it.  Something in the last year or two flipped in me that made me not want to type anything out.  Kind of a self censorship because I began telling myself that I shouldn't be putting all the things out there the way I have in the past.  Then it hit me in the last 24 hours that when I was typing the BS out of my head, it was much easier to manage.  It's irrelevant to me if anyone else reads it, it was always about clearing the cobwebs out of my own head.  So why'd I stop? We're still tending wounds as the year winds down.  Wounds of all sorts and kinds: physical ones, mental ones, internal and external.  There are going to be some lasting impressions once all of this dies down.  If last year was a roller coaster, this year must be a drop ride.  Ya know the ones, they take you way high in the air, let you think you're safe and then suddenly it lets go an...

I've been trying to 5 months to get this written out.  I've erased.  Deleted.  Changed text and title repeatedly.  I don't know where to start or what to say.  Do I mention that I didn't color my hair for the first 3 months of the year?  It was natural walking into this year?  Like a rebirth?  Do I mention that this semester of school was neither good nor bad...it was just, there?  Do I mention that the trials so far have been rough but manageable? We are indeed in a time of change.  The world itself and in my own little home.  Without going into too many personal details, our household has been hit with some major medical whirlwinds in the last 9-10 months.  My sweet Girl has a definitive reason for her tiny-ness, she will need medical monitoring for the rest of her life.  Honey has followed suit with some common but life changing ailments of his own.  Like I said, rough but manageable.  Getting into my own cr...