MUSINGS

I went to my family's place this past holiday weekend.  I spent 3 1/2 days there just being, it was a nice visit.  And yes it set me to thinking, far far too much...because that's what I do, over think things.  There's a curse to being an Air sign, we are mutable, I am ruled by Mercury.  Mercury is the planet responsible for communication and the thought process, therefore I think and speak far too much, far too often.  Hell sometimes I speak without thinking at all.... As I'm getting older, trying to show my daughter how life can be lived (not how to live), I find myself picking up on things I didn't notice as a child or a young adult.  I have always lived in a sort of dream world, or a pretend place that I needed so that I could cope with what was around me.  I came from what seemed to be a normal, functional household.  Two parents, male and female, married for a long period of time and one sibling with whom I was raised.  Ours was ...

Ok. So I have this theory that next year is going to be my year.  It's got to be.  I mentioned in a prior blog that I'm not exactly on board with the Mayan prophesy slated for December.  I do believe the world, as we know it, is going to change....but it's not going to end exactly.  All you gotta do is read all the headlines and listen to what Mother Earth is telling you.  That being said, on to 2013.  The word Triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13.  I do not have this.  I embrace that number and all it's bad reputation.  I was born on the 13th of the month and I have had several Friday the 13th birthdays over the years.  They are typically pretty good ones.  Some version of the number usually shows itself to me, and I will almost always use it when choosing lotto numbers.  I am not good with  mathematics, but I do believe that numbers and numerology are sacred and all around us.  The number 3 and it's...

I have a bit of a beef with today's medicine. Yes, I'm jaded because of how substandard the VA is, but this is somewhat more mainstream and widespread. Because there are so many veterans now, the VA has basically become like the free clinic, minus the free condoms. The care tries to keep up with the demand but it's hard, and I do recognize that. No, this particular issue is just medicine in general. How many of you have noticed exactly how much time the actual doctor spends in the room with you when you go for an illness or a checkup? Do they ever actually touch you? Or take your temperature? Do they go over various causes for something before they hand you a little yellow pill and say take these till the scrip runs out...and don't call me in the morning? I didn't think so. I was sent to physical therapy a while back because I have osteoarthritis in both my knees. I fell on a concrete dock and the fall sent what was a normal degeneration int...

the duck billed Platypus, nature's screwup ;-) Have you ever noticed when something goes wrong, or awry, or simply not the way you wanted/hoped/intended, you blame yourself?  Well, some of us do anyway.  Maybe not right off the bat, but later when it all sinks in, you think, "damn, what could I have done differently? was this my fault?".  Of course at some point in that process we spend a good deal of time replacing that blame on whomever, whatever we can.  Does eating or placing all that blame really solve anything?  Or does it just make us feel better....? I'd love to blame my ex for all the crappy things about our failed marriage, but I can't.  We both had a hand in wrecking it.  Now on my part, I need to make sure I don't take all the blame and agonize over it.  Work in progress.  The universe has a way of showing up at the right moment and saying, "hey fool! Take responsibility but learn to let go!".  That, folks, ...

That's a four letter word.  Kind of like "love"...among a few other words that usually come to mind when someone mentions that phrase.  Being raised in a strict, somewhat poor, Southern household, the word "want" became detestable.  I was taught to say instead, "I'd like to have it" and I still use that phrase to this day when asked if I want something.  My honey often asks me, when I see some flowers or a particular pretty, if I see something I need.  My answer is always the same, "No, I see something I'd like to have, but I don't need it".  There are tons of things I want, but in my head, to indicate that inclination is wrong or misguided.  There are actually times when someone expresses to me what they want, that I will get annoyed with it.  In my ears it sounds selfish regardless of how it was intended, particularly if it has to do with me personally. That selfish notion is further reinforced when I go for something I truly ...

Woman.  Webster says this: 1 a : an adult female person b : a woman belonging to a particular category (as by birth, residence, membership, or occupation) —usually used in combination <council woman >   Female.  Webster says this too:  1 a (1) : of, relating to, or being the sex that bears young or produces eggs (2) : pistillate b (1) : composed of members of the female sex <the female population> (2) : characteristic of girls or women <composed for female voices> <a female name>   We have heard it, lots of us have said it.  Referred to a woman or a girl as a female.  It's a pet peeve of mine particularly at this age and stage in life.  I corrected a co-worker the other day before I realized I did it.  It caught him a little off guard but he kept the conversation rolling.  There are a lot of things I can tolerate being referred to as, but for someone to overs...

Ever have a dream so powerful you don't forget it, even after several days?  Yeah.  It's no secret that I'm fairly fed up with my line of work.  I'm feeling a bit mid life crisis-ish.  Well, the other morning I had a dream that I was at work and the fellas were working on something high above using the cage lift.  It's not a complicated device, it's just a 3 or 4 foot tall cage that you can use with a forklift to reach things high above with some safety.  There is a door that latches on the end.  Ours is a bit different, but the concept is the same In my dream I needed to get to the other side of the shop to help someone out.  For some reason, in order to get to where I needed to be, I had to go around or across this lift...which was full of my co-workers.  I chose the short route, going over it. So I climbed over the side to get in with the intention of climbing right back out the other side.  I knew full well I could get stu...