MUSINGS

 I've been running around sprucing up our house.  Little things here and there, new curtains, re-purposed furniture, a new kitchen light fixture...and who knew what a couch cover would do for the whole room??  It has taken me years to get used to decorating what (in my head) is someone else's house.  OK.  Let's be straight about it-- it's taken me years to get used to decorating a house without it ending in some kind of fight. My daughter asked me while I was hanging Spring curtains why I didn't become an interior decorator....that was a tough one to tell a child of divorced parents.  How does a mom tell her only child that her creativity was stifled at every turn after the shiny wore off? The pot hanger light that I've wanted for years. This week, Honey and I wandered off to Lowe's in search of a light fixture I'd been lusting after and potential bathroom upgrades.  We left the office with an idea...at some point in the 4 miles between our offi...

That pretty little port town in deep south Louisiana.  New Orleeens, N'awlins, N'worlins....However you decide to pronounce it (and no, you'll never nail it like a local), it's still a magical place to visit. I've been there countless times since I was 16 years old.  One of my very best friends is from the West Bank, the more laid back residential section.  The area most folks hit is what we refer to as The Quarter....the French Quarter- Downtown, East Bank, Business District, Red light District.  It's an amazing place full of history, magic, and mystery.  There are Voodoo shops, strip clubs, 5 star hotels, Armani stops, and Walgreen's.  Little restaurants tucked away in unexpected corners.  It's rare that I get to go and play the part of the tour guide, but in the last year or so I've had that pleasure a couple of times.  Once for some Austinites who accompanied another best friend of mine in for a weekend, and then this week with my sister in ...

Over Labour Day weekend I attended my second ever high school football game, ate my umpteenth home made cupcake, frosted my sisters hair, and taught my daughter and my niece what it is to be a Southern Woman.  Yes those two are both in caps, why?  Because it's a title, that's why.  Yes, to my own embarrassment I have only attended a couple of high school football games, this last one being one for my God-child.  My school was too small to offer football, but we did have basketball and I was at most of those games on any given Tuesday or Friday night.  I don't know how it is up north, but I do know down here, we take sports and togetherness seriously.  Most outsiders probably think we're obsessed with the game itself (I'm sure for most that's true) but there's also a sense of community that comes with those events.  Multiple parents yelling at referees, moms and dads watching their hard earned cash get covered in dust, sweat, and a little blood, all...

I've waited quite a while to lay this one down.  I guess I had to find my own voice on the subject before I could open that door.  Because I am no expert on anything, I gathered some wisdom from some ladies and gents around me to hand over their voices on the subject.  Originally this was going to be geared toward the women...but then it hit me, I've seen just as many men walked on as I have women.  So: To the Southern Divorcee (male or female) in training....here's a checklist of wisdom.  What we would have wanted (or needed) someone to tell us at that time in our lives.  Enjoy. First and foremost, you are stronger than you believe.  No matter how bad or ugly a situation looks, it's not going to last forever and yes, you can get past it.  Sometimes things don't work out, sometimes they crash and burn, sometimes...you just gotta leave.  No matter what the situation, hold your head high and don't forget...you are important and strong...

Yeah.  Food.  You know that stuff....we need it to live...some of us are addicted to it....some of us are afraid of it....some of us only deal with it because we have to.  I'm that gal right there at the end. It was impossible to get met to eat properly when I was a child.  I've always craved salty things so my mom would keep saltine crackers and whatnot in the house.  In an effort to keep me drinking water the way I should she'd let me have them fairly often.  Beyond that, I had the typical kid diet that most children today enjoy....lots of starch, lots of salt and sugar.  Most children in the woods in the late 70's, early 80's didn't get to be too picky, I was a rare kid.  I remember being punished repeatedly by my parents, friends parents, aunts, uncles, etc, for being such a picky eater.  My second grade teacher refused to let me get away with not eating what she believed I should.  There were several standoffs at lunch that ye...

I had a bit of an epiphany at 1 am in the freezing cold South this week.  My mind was racing and all I could think on was a mixture of the game I play online and Ex's behavior patterns.  It hit me that I spend entirely too much time and heartache dwelling on something that I should have expected.  It hit me that I wasn't even angry while I was turning it all over in my head.  As soon as the thought crossed my mind...I stopped and stared at the motionless ceiling fan. I'm not really angry. I'm really. not. angry. I'm......exhausted. The few things I needed to be angry or hurt about...I've been down that road, I trod on that one till there was nothing left to stomp on.  It's not about anything he did to me or that I did to him anymore.  These days it's simply what he does or doesn't do to and for his only child.  Those are things I can do nothing about.  I can't change what he fails to do, or how he justifies the behavior.  Somehow...

As per usual I am stuck at a crossroads yet again.  Two years ago I was struck with one of the hardest decisions of my life.  Harder even than allowing the dissolve of my marriage.  It involved stepping up and fighting for my daughters due.  The most difficult challenge was, not making a bad situation even worse by making him angry with me.  I have always hated being the bad guy, even when it was necessary.  In that particular case, it was completely necessary.  It took me weeks to act, weeks of tears, sleepless nights, and worry...knowing that while I as protecting my child's interests, I was also solidifying an enemy. At what point does protecting your child, even from their parent, make you the devil?  At what point do you stop laying down and being polite and hold anothers feet to the fire?  At what point do you accept the fact that no matter what you do, how you do it, how correct or protective you are.....you are wrong.  You will...