MUSINGS

I went home to the woods this past weekend to attend my nephews high school graduation.  Honey came with me and got to see for real the kind of community I came from.  I can only assume he liked it. While I was home my mother put something into perspective for me that hadn't crossed my mind before.  You see, I'm aware that I come from a poorer area, I'm aware that being raised in the country has created a pattern of thought very different from those who live where I live now.  I very often preach gratitude and appreciation.  I am quick to tell someone they don't appreciate what they have, you think someone is always going to be there for you.  I simply assumed it was backwoods Southern raisin'.  Then she said this:  "You and your sister grew up with the understanding that your father was about to die at any moment."  See, for us, there was no safety net.  After his first two heart attacks in the early 80's the rest of his, and our, lif...

I had two and a half paragraphs written up about money and how I am the queen of bill collector calls, etc.  I even had a Pink Floyd video ready to go.  Then Mother's day happened.   I guess I pour all this out to find some clarity or maybe it's all just psycho-therapy.  At this point it's one of the few things that keeps my head straight and bits of the anxiety at bay.  I've been studying human behaviors and why people do things or say things.  A good friend of mine and I psychoanalyze one another on the regular, she and I tend to be each others' mirror.  There are some behaviors I'm familiar with simply because I've seen/dealt with enough people with those patterns.  There are others that I've seen but throw me off to such a degree that I have to recover from the shock of being exposed to it.  One thing I have learned about myself:  I am no good at being a step parent.  I have completely failed in the 5 years I've had an ...

I read an article on NPR this morning about laziness in America.  It wasn't written to bash anyone or anything, just an observation on life in the US beginning with the founding fathers and their attitudes towards idle time. In our home growing up, we were never allowed to utter the words "I'm bored" without repercussion.  If there were no immediate chores to be done, the answer was to go read a book, which we did with fervor.  Other than that, there was always something to be done whether it was to wipe down baseboards, dust the living room, sweep anything and everything, or pick through peas.  Sleep was not an option.  Naps were reserved for a rare Sunday afternoon and only if mama took one first.  The only real way to get out of work at the house was to leave...in our case, go hide in the woods all afternoon until she was calling us in or we got hurt and just had to get it patched up proper.  Even heading over to hide at a friends house could res...

Another spring holiday has come and gone.  After the harrowing week of random attacks of illness in my house, a few not so minor changes, and standardized testing...we needed more than a few days to breathe.  You wanna talk about rebirth???  Yeah.  We got some rebirth going on here. Our little family walked into Ostara (Easter) holiday with some heavy hearts, frazzled minds, and aching bodies.  The Girl has been raising money for school trips and whatnot as well as battling the last standardized test of her elementary career.  While I was moving and cleaning up the rest of the house, she had officially taken over the bigger of the two secondary bedrooms.  No easy feat for a teenage girl who has a TON of stuff.  Honey wound up with medical issues ranging from infection to kidney stones all in the course of 3 days.  Never have I seen a man so exhausted or in pain.  In the midst of the insanity, the Boy came back to stay with us for a whi...

OK, so you know how a while back I said this year would be as good as I can make it?  Having remarried and found some much needed stability?  Weeeellll.  It looks like things are coming together more than I ever expected. I registered, paid my admin fee, and was accepted back into the University that I quit so many years ago.  I am also eligible for school funds through the Veteran's Administration. I think I'm in shock.  No.  I know I'm in shock. You see I wasn't looking to go back into a degree plan.  I just wanted to take a couple of classes on metal working...nothing fancy.  Those classes, however, are offered as part of a curriculum, therefore are the standard rate if taken alone.  There is no way I could afford a $750 class, much less three of them.  After some panic and some tears, I began to look over the university website and found a link for veterans.  I perused and found a link to a GI bill that I never knew existe...

 I've been running around sprucing up our house.  Little things here and there, new curtains, re-purposed furniture, a new kitchen light fixture...and who knew what a couch cover would do for the whole room??  It has taken me years to get used to decorating what (in my head) is someone else's house.  OK.  Let's be straight about it-- it's taken me years to get used to decorating a house without it ending in some kind of fight. My daughter asked me while I was hanging Spring curtains why I didn't become an interior decorator....that was a tough one to tell a child of divorced parents.  How does a mom tell her only child that her creativity was stifled at every turn after the shiny wore off? The pot hanger light that I've wanted for years. This week, Honey and I wandered off to Lowe's in search of a light fixture I'd been lusting after and potential bathroom upgrades.  We left the office with an idea...at some point in the 4 miles between our offi...

That pretty little port town in deep south Louisiana.  New Orleeens, N'awlins, N'worlins....However you decide to pronounce it (and no, you'll never nail it like a local), it's still a magical place to visit. I've been there countless times since I was 16 years old.  One of my very best friends is from the West Bank, the more laid back residential section.  The area most folks hit is what we refer to as The Quarter....the French Quarter- Downtown, East Bank, Business District, Red light District.  It's an amazing place full of history, magic, and mystery.  There are Voodoo shops, strip clubs, 5 star hotels, Armani stops, and Walgreen's.  Little restaurants tucked away in unexpected corners.  It's rare that I get to go and play the part of the tour guide, but in the last year or so I've had that pleasure a couple of times.  Once for some Austinites who accompanied another best friend of mine in for a weekend, and then this week with my sister in ...