MUSINGS

I'm graduating college. I'm finally graduating college. I'm graduating from university. In 8 days, I will be a college graduate. Sorry, I'm still trying to convince myself that this isn't a wild, Percocet induced dream.  My one and only daughter will also be graduating this month, one week after me.  She has fought one hell of a battle the last year and a half, she's done an amazing job.  My little family has been through trial after trial the last couple of years.  Dark shadows clawing at the health of my husband, my child, and perhaps even myself.  The strain on our home has been overwhelming, but we still have a house and we still have our vehicles and we still have food.  And for now, we still have a place to work.  We all got this far, we'll continue to fight until the shadows abate. I still feel strange doing this at 40.  I know there are a lot of people proud of me for returning and finishing, it's not something everyone gets to a...

So yeah.  This year.  To say the least, it's been less than glamorous...and we still have 2 weeks to go.  I don't want to jinx it anymore than necessary. One more semester down, three to go, 2 classes at a time till it's over.  I'm not terribly excited about the nit picky way it's going but that's just because I'm impatient and I want to be finished.  I have some amazing projects lined up for this month and I'm very excited about them.  Now to just put tool to metal and I'll be OK. It's been a long strange trip.  So many things ended this year.  I don't want to say "lost" because I'm not sure anything or anyone really was lost.  I think that for the world and individuals, it's simply been the end of an era.  The baby boomers did lose many of their icons this year, it's been rough for celebrities.  Friendships have taken strange turns or fizzled out altogether, relationships have been started and ended with a strange ...

The first year and a half back in school was kind of a novelty.  Being back on my favorite campus, new book bag, new shoes...you know the drill.  Classes were fun, I knew all the answers and things weren't complicated.  All of the sudden, I wasn't making little artsy things to put in a sales window.  Suddenly I was expected to think of concepts and put my voice out there using a medium. Wait. Hold up...you want me to do what?? Yeah.  Be loud and proud about something.  Thus far, this is pretty much the only place I've been loud and proud with anything.  I have readers but I don't have this massive following, so it's kind of like going to confession...I can't see the priest and he can't see me. The first couple of art classes were technical, they were based in method and formal aspects of creating art.  Well, I'm not in the beginning stages anymore.  It's time to think.  It's time to find what matters to me and let it be seen. ...

Holy crap it's been a long while.  I guess I lost my mojo somewhere back there and didn't pick it back up.  How ya'll?  I'm doing alright I suppose, stress and life beside. The daily:  helping Honey keep his business alive...trying like hell to get mine going...trying to keep the dogs from killing each other...gently pushing my child out of the nest and her comfort zone.  Yeah. that's about it these days.  Oh yeah, and school.  Well....I made a 3.75 this semester.  The first time ever in college that I've done that.  It shocked me quite a bit.  While I may not be accustomed to failing, neither am I accustomed to passing with such a high mark.  I was a solid B student in high school (mostly out of choice) and during my first round in college I was basically a solid failure...again...mostly by choice.  When you use college as an escape route, the grades tend to be an afterthought.  As far as art goes, there is a smidge of ...

Cajun: a member of any of the largely self-contained communities in the bayou areas of southern Louisiana formed by descendants of French Canadians, speaking an archaic form of French. That's the "official" definition.  Here's how it breaks down.  Hundreds of years ago in France, there was some dissension.  The French government cracked down on a large portion of it's population for things that were barely criminal, such as not being able to pay your taxes.  Many of these people were expelled and sent to Nova Scotia Canada, once known as Acadia.  From Nova Scotia they migrated down to Louisiana and settled in the lower central region and spread to the coast.  There are what is called "Prairie Cajuns", "Bayou Cajuns", and just...Cajuns but they are all Acadians.   Being Cajun is a fairly big thing here.  Contrary to popular belief simply being from Louisiana does not mean someone is Cajun.  There's a fair mix of people from other p...

I've been told that we, people, undergo significant change every seven years.  I've gone back over my life several times to see if I can pinpoint any of those changes.  I suppose if I look hard enough, I can.  Childhood was childhood, but by 21 I was married with a baby on the way...by 28 I was exiting the Marine Corps, by 35 I was divorced and remarried...So yeah, I guess there's validity to that statement. It seems like this particular round the changes just keep coming.  I'm typically not one who is daunted by change, even if it's big.  It seems like the last 5 plus years have been a steady stream of....different.  From having to learn a new way of life to my body completely betraying me (thanks neck!), the constant shift in my world has been a little rough.  After the ex left I expected my friend circle to change and it did.  Most of that was a welcome change, I figured out who was toxic and who was good for me.  Back during my former l...

It's been a roller coaster year, a few ups, some downs, some sad, some happy.  All in all, in spite of some of the sad moments, it was really good. I ran into a few struggles that I didn't see coming, apparently I'm not super woman after all! With all my friends around me having new children I'm slipping gracefully into that part of my life being completely over.  Some mothers are celebrating firsts and others are taking on numbers 2, 3, and 5.  Having some tests run confirmed suspicions that my own hormone levels have taken their dive a little earlier than most are accustomed to, that explains some of the ragey moments over the last year plus.  It's surreal for me.  Don't get me wrong I have NO desire for more children.  Especially not a tiny one.  It's nice being the mom and step mom of individuals who are self sufficient and capable.  I like having time to do what I'd like to do and people with whom to chat that can be articulate.  But ...

People often remark that I don't talk about my time in the Corps.  Most folks know, at least within either the initial introduction or the first few talks that I served.  My Honey brought it up a few times after we'd been together for a while that he knew nothing of my experiences when I was overseas.  He got one or two snipits about Japan here and there and that was about it.  Basically what everyone gets, the "safe" stories.  There are things best left in the past.  That being said, I am here to bare the soul a bit and offer up a story or two, names shall be changed to protect the not-so-innocent and maintain the status quo.  Grab a beer, it might get interesting. Many moons ago there was a young woman who was a new mom, a new wife and incredibly poor.  She drank far too much and spent too much time running behind a certain best friend who was the gunpowder to her lead.  She was adjusting to life as much as she could, broke, miserable, an...

This one is for the Missus. Ever wonder when you've become "that woman"...?  You know the one, she owns Tarot cards or a hefty worn down Bible, and is able to lay down the "when I was younger and skinny" stories...  The spiritual lady, the devout lady, the one who understands who/what God is to her... Has seemingly done it all...Will look you in the eye and say, "you will understand later on"...or "you have some growing to do".... Have you ever left a conversation or a moment in time, sat in your car and thought, "was I this naive? Or is there really a generation gap? when did I become.... Her ..."  All the while learning, growing and conquering her own deamons.  She doesn't see herself as the one who needs to be giving advice or spouting lessons or wisdom...  She's the woman who is trying to conquer poison ivy and keep her relationship current and hot and alive...AND learn how to grow up.... I've spent time recent...

The Chameleon Because I mentioned some changes within and without regarding me, I thought I'd post a few photos of me over the past few years.  Starting around 2008-ish and ending today Feb 25, 2013.  I hope you like.    this had to be around 2008, I remember it was Mardi Gras.  I was red once again sa me year with another beautiful Fontenot woman the year it all went haywire. 2009 2010, in my own home with the hair gone. it was a release and an act of rebellion still short, still red, trying to fit in in a world that was brand new 2011 2012 embracing the inner "Rosie" reclaiming the feminine   and here we are today (literally). dark dark brown, red, longish. smiling. content in my own skin. 2013