MUSINGS

I Googled this because I was curious to see if it was really a thing.  Apparently it is!  But each link on the first page referenced employment in some manner or life in general.   What if a person doesn't have a mediocre life but does mediocre things for others?  When treating themselves they buy tickets to their favorite sports game or explore a new restaurant on a regular basis.  They take full advantage of anything that makes them feel happy and fulfilled.  That's what they will do for themselves. For those around them, on the other hand... "Well I did the best I could!"   Really?  Did you?  Did you really do the very best thing you could do?  Did you sacrifice a little of what you do for yourself to give a little more than the bare minimum?  If the answer is anything but a verifiable 'Yes', then they are practicing detrimental mediocrity.  I say detrimental because it will end up having that kind of effect...

Right now the universe is giving our home a hell of a ride.  Torrential rains are leaving a lasting impression on everything south and people are losing what they worked very hard to maintain.  It's heart-wrenching to watch.  I have been able to donate a little bit, not as much as I'd like but it's what I could do so I have to be OK with that.  Unfortunately Honey and I have our own battle to fight with an ancient leaky building and no funds to do a proper repair.  We just have to wait for the rain to finish what it's doing so we can try to address it as best we can.   There has been many a night in the last few years that Honey and I both have looked at what was dumped in his lap and asked..."what did I/we do to deserve this?"  He certainly didn't ask for it, in case anyone was wondering.  But..he's got it.  It's there and it isn't as simple as ditch it and walk away nor is it as simple as drain a bank account to fix one problem out of 50...

Perimenopause.  I can hear the "click" of the mice already...those running from the base word:  menopause.  You might stick around, it doesn't hurt to get a personal thought process on something like this. What is it?  Well, the Mayo clinic defines it as this: Perimenopause means "around menopause" and refers to the time period during which a woman's body makes its natural transition toward permanent infertility (menopause). Perimenopause is also called the menopausal transition. Sadly, there is no warning.  It just happens and by the time you realize you're not insane or pregnant...it's too late.  Understanding what the problem is doesn't really help matters either.  I know there are plenty of women who walk in their crone years with relative ease or even happiness.  So far I am not one of those, I'm not kicking and screaming but I'm not ok either.  You might be saying, "wth, you're only 38!"  Yes, yes I am.  And I...

Ya'll know that "three sides to every story" thing I talk about from time to time?  It exists.  It's called yours, mine, and the truth. There is always a spin on someones story simply because we are incapable of being truly biased toward ourselves.  Most people on the outside take a little from each side and meld it together to get what is then known as the truth.  It takes pieces of each to make the story valid.  Most people also decide early on to either take a side or bow out gracefully and don't become involved at all. Well sometimes you have outsiders who push their own agenda on an already bad situation.  My mom would tease kittens when we were children.  Kittens play fight and wrestle.  She'd sneak up on them and tug one of their tails to get one to bite down a little harder on the other.  In kittens the practice is cute.  In people, not so much.  If you're going through some kind of traumatic upset- divorce, breakup, dea...

Friendship. Loyalty. Willful ignorance. Betrayal. Disassociation. What do all these words have in common? They all refer to a stage in a relationship. Some friendships are made to last, withstand anything and everything. Others are made to last just long enough for either or both parties to glean what they need and move on. The problem is how the split happens before the moving on. There are a few classic ways a friendship can crash and burn. Sadly, none of these are confined to high school. This is real and prevalent in adult society. You've got the “you slept with/stole my significant other, go to hell” This one is pretty straight forward, there was a blatant betrayal whether the friend was seduced by the significant other and caved or whether there was a willful act by both parties. Every now and then the friendship can be salvaged i.e. the bros before hoes/chicks before dicks clause. It is never quite the same afterward though. ...

Attrition by Merriam-Webster : Full Definition of ATTRITION 1 [Middle English  attricioun,  from Medieval Latin  attrition-, attritio,  from Latin]  :  sorrow for one's sins that arises from a motive  other than that of the love of God 2 :  the act of rubbing together :   friction ;  also  :  the act of wearing or grinding down by friction 3 :  the act of weakening or  exhausting  by constant harassment, abuse, or attack  <a war of  attrition > 4 :  a reduction in numbers usually as a result of resignation, retirement, or death  <a company with a high rate of attrition > There was a war going on in my life for years.  There was an attempt to wear me down and weaken me.  There were days I couldn't look in the mirror, not because I'd gained too much weight or started to age, but because I hated who looked back at me.  I didn'...

I spent the afternoon reveling with the locals and a myriad of foreigners for our first festival of the year.  The week has been so odd and surreal that I needed something to reinforce my lust for life in general.  The week itself contained the deaths of some people who were seemingly too young to go, a progressed illness in a close friend, a change in my career path, and the potential dissolve of a friendship that was fairly new.  Surreal doesn't even describe it all.  The universe has always shown me when I'm going down the correct path and when I make a life change it always encompasses so much more than I expected.  This time is no different.  Each thing that changes directly correlates to the other, for every thing I give up there is always something that comes to take it's place.  Doors opening and closing if you will. Death = Transition I've never been one to believe the phrase "gone too soon", or "too young  to die".  I'm not ...

Anyone who knows Arthurian legend knows the saga of Lancelot and Guinevere.  From,  The Lady of Shalott to The Crystal Cave , the story is basically the same:  two people, in love with the same person, fall victim to their desires.  You see, Arthur was more than a king, he was a warrior, he was a mentor and he was a friend.  He knew how to blur those lines just enough to please those around him and make himself feel complete.  Then the inevitable happened, the lines were blurred for him.  He was betrayed by his beloved friend, his wife's champion in the ring, his right hand.  He was also betrayed by the woman who gave him life, companionship, completeness.  They fell from grace by their lack of will power and strength.  Here's the clincher, neither of them was a "bad person".  They simply made a bad, bad choice and then ran with it. Lemme 'splain. You see, sometimes a body doesn't know how to tell someone else they have fall...

OK so the title is a little much, but I'm sure everyone has had to deal with their share of people who refuse to live in the here and now.  I used to be one of them.  I had the best dream world up until I was somewhere around 20.  I had the best emotional control of anyone I knew, I mean I could hide and fake a smile with the best.  Most of my life at that time was a fairly big lie, so to speak.  Then boot camp came along and stripped me down to almost nothing.  See, that's what they do.  They "remake" you.  I can't speak for any other branch, but I can say quite definitely that the USMC does a good job of reprogramming the person, inside and out.  Since then, my bullshit meter is off the charts, I can't hide or fake emotion, I know all of my limits and I have a pretty severe lack of tolerance.  It's not easy for me to deal with people who push those limits.  This last part of the year has been very difficult on everyone around me...

What's considered sacred anymore?  Or is anything?....most folks would say, a church or a temple, or perhaps an idea, or even that car they spent far too much money on and only drive on Sundays or for car shows.  What do you hold sacred?  Or do you hold anything sacred?  What about the house you live in? I read something the last night in reference to the holiday Lammas (Aug 1st).  It is the celebration of the first seasonal harvest, it is meant to give thanks and reverence to all the men and women gone before who had to struggle off the land and rely on that first harvest so they had a firm start for winter.  It is a moment in time to hold your hearth and home sacred, because that is exactly what they should be.  Your home is supposed to be the place you work for, you sleep soundly at night, is a direct reflection of your person and your family.  Whether it's a modest apartment or a large ornate house, it's your home.  The place where yo...

Two things I do not discuss in mixed company is politics and religion.  But for the sake of story tellin', I will lend a little glimpse of my adventure this past weekend.  I went to Alabama with a wonderful new friend I made from Hammond.  It wasn't just a friendly visit just to get out of town, it was a much needed spiritual retreat.  See, with all the goings on in the last 5 years or so, I lost a lot of my faith.  This was compounded by losing people in my life that were important to me and by the anxiety I have carried around for so very very long.  It's been easy for me to put most or all of the heartbreak I have encountered on my ex.  This is not entirely accurate.  It was simply easy.  Yes, of course our divorce broke my heart.  A person cannot live with someone for over a decade and not feel something intense for that person.  However, the true catalyst for my loss of faith actually came when a long time friend ca...