MUSINGS

What's considered sacred anymore?  Or is anything?....most folks would say, a church or a temple, or perhaps an idea, or even that car they spent far too much money on and only drive on Sundays or for car shows.  What do you hold sacred?  Or do you hold anything sacred?  What about the house you live in? I read something the last night in reference to the holiday Lammas (Aug 1st).  It is the celebration of the first seasonal harvest, it is meant to give thanks and reverence to all the men and women gone before who had to struggle off the land and rely on that first harvest so they had a firm start for winter.  It is a moment in time to hold your hearth and home sacred, because that is exactly what they should be.  Your home is supposed to be the place you work for, you sleep soundly at night, is a direct reflection of your person and your family.  Whether it's a modest apartment or a large ornate house, it's your home.  The place where you cook dinner, sit around and wa

It seems I've embarked on a spiritual quest as well a life one.  My last post was a much needed purging of emotion and pent up issues.  I'm a firm believer in facing the fear or the deamon in order to conquer it.  I use the term deamon not so much in a literal biblical sense, but the idea that we all have a fear, a hangup, a something that plagues us.  Until we face it head on- jump in that 8 foot pool, climb that 10 foot ladder, step inside that airplane- we will never get rid of it.  Depending on how firm a grip that deamon has, a body can come back from that fight a new person.  In my particular case, with that particular deamon, it made me calm again.  I've been fighting for years to maintain an inner peace.  As a child I was basically Pollyanna, always upbeat.  I'm still that way to a degree, I try very hard to find the positive side of almost anything.  For the last few years that has fallen away and I've become quite the cynic.  I call it being a realist. 

Catharsis:  2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension (1) Thank you Mr. Webster. I've tried for the last few months not to make this blog about me and my ex and my issues.  So far I've done a decent job.  I'm not one who is fond of hanging dirty laundry out for the world to view, even though quite a bit of the world has had a peek at it in the last few years.  So, here's a question to ponder:  how do you let go when an ex won't say they are sorry or never acknowledges they wronged you?  Especially when you've admitted all the things you screwed up at? At the risk of being messy and fish-wifeish I sit here to achieve some much needed catharsis.  I very desperately need some purgation.  Seeing as how this is my current form of art and expression, this is the medium I will use.  Maybe once it's all out

I want to take a photograph of my hands, now at 35 and perhaps again in 30 years or so.  I probably won't do it, but it's a neat thought.  I'm sort of obsessed with hands, men's, women's, little children; I used to chew on my daughters fingers when she was an infant.  I thought her little hands were the most beautiful things I'd ever seen.  I did it for years till she drew back one day and I knew it was time to stop nibbling on my little ones fingertips.  There's line in one of my favourite books referencing the character's mother's hands....she described the red nail polish just applied the day before and how they always smelled of Jergen's lotion.  It often makes me think on my own mother's hands, they have always looked very.....capable, and always smell clean.  Always clean, because my mother, child of the 50's, is always cleaning.  Sometimes I think I see some of that same capability in my own.  Whether real or added, my nails ar

First timer pin This summer we get a wet July, it's a nice change from last years draught.  Got to love Louisiana seasons.  Our second bowling tournament went off without a hitch, I'm not sure how much money anyone actually won but I know I didn't win anything (didn't really expect to).  I went into it with a different attitude, and tried my best, that's all I could do really.  It's a little funny to me how such events as these threw me into an insecure panic.  I felt out of place and completely out of my element.  For me it's a mirror of how I feel about my life in general these days. Look at the activity from the surface, one would say, "well, it's a sport, meant to played and have fun with".  This, to a point, is true.  Until it becomes a true competition.  I'm not really a true competitor, I was told once when I first started college that everything was a competition to me, the statement hit me like a brick so I tried to eliminate