MUSINGS

Some days there just isn't enough coffee.  But there may be red lipstick and appetizers later.   Apparently I'm not supposed to be venting in a "public" blog.  Ya know because those I write about might catch wind of it.  oooooo. Bad Liz, bad bad.  I'm not supposed to air the perceived transgressions of my ex, or fuss about things in life that get under my skin.  Well, I suppose maybe I'm allowed just as long as it's only to an approved source that will keep any frustrations to themselves.  Or maybe I'm supposed to continue to play my role as kicked puppy and not say anything, ever, in any capacity.   Meh.  Either way, those latter things aren't going to happen.  Getting all this crap out of my head has been therapeutic in it's own little way, I never should have slowed down.  If anyone gets referenced, inadvertently or otherwise, and takes offense, so be it.  This is my brain spillage, this is my perception of life thus ...

So yeah.  This year.  To say the least, it's been less than glamorous...and we still have 2 weeks to go.  I don't want to jinx it anymore than necessary. One more semester down, three to go, 2 classes at a time till it's over.  I'm not terribly excited about the nit picky way it's going but that's just because I'm impatient and I want to be finished.  I have some amazing projects lined up for this month and I'm very excited about them.  Now to just put tool to metal and I'll be OK. It's been a long strange trip.  So many things ended this year.  I don't want to say "lost" because I'm not sure anything or anyone really was lost.  I think that for the world and individuals, it's simply been the end of an era.  The baby boomers did lose many of their icons this year, it's been rough for celebrities.  Friendships have taken strange turns or fizzled out altogether, relationships have been started and ended with a strange ...

The first year and a half back in school was kind of a novelty.  Being back on my favorite campus, new book bag, new shoes...you know the drill.  Classes were fun, I knew all the answers and things weren't complicated.  All of the sudden, I wasn't making little artsy things to put in a sales window.  Suddenly I was expected to think of concepts and put my voice out there using a medium. Wait. Hold up...you want me to do what?? Yeah.  Be loud and proud about something.  Thus far, this is pretty much the only place I've been loud and proud with anything.  I have readers but I don't have this massive following, so it's kind of like going to confession...I can't see the priest and he can't see me. The first couple of art classes were technical, they were based in method and formal aspects of creating art.  Well, I'm not in the beginning stages anymore.  It's time to think.  It's time to find what matters to me and let it be seen. ...

I've always been more pessimistic than optimistic, I used to call it realism, but I did eventually learn the art of seeing things for what they are.  When Ex and I were together he'd make mention that I was too meek or didn't stand up for myself enough, he'd tell me that I needed to say "no" more often.  It took me many years to do it and become comfortable with it.  Far too much worry about stepping on toes.  Too much worry about making someone angry or having them perhaps not like me.  After many years and many bad decisions, I realized that people are going to not like me even if they were a friend of mine.  People change and there's nothing any of us can do about it. When he left the learning process started over, stripping that meek side of me became a priority.  When the era ended with my first husband, people around me, friend and foe, all demanded answers to questions.  When I say demanded, I mean they held my feet to the fire until they ...

Mardi Gras.  A south Louisiana tradition.  There are parades, bands at every bar, almost 2 full weeks of revelry.  And there are balls.  Gorgeous, fun, glitter filled debutante nights of floor length gowns, champagne, big hair, and all the best schwag you can collect.  Beads are like gold here.  There are good beads, OK beads, great beads, and flat out crappy beads.  Typically you want the flashy ones, the ones that have medallions on them, or something that sets them apart.  I like the ones that are big and colorful:  bright pink, pearl, or gold.  But I have plenty that have something really great, like masks or babies.  I have a tendency to dive for doubloons also.  They aren't made of metal anymore but they are still collectors items and I have plenty. This years Krewe of Rio stash This year I accompanied a good friend of mine to a more upper tier ball.  The way Mardi Gras works here, each Krewe has a celebration...

So, yeah, I've had enough. There's this little video clip that's gone all viral on the interwebs.  It's a portion of a speech made by our illustrious leader a few days ago.  In this clip he dares to mention atrocities that were committed hundreds of years ago...*gasp* by Christians.  The statement he made has caused a huge stir, inciting remarks about history itself and why he'd bring up such a thing.  (DISCLAIMER:  I am not a fan of, nor do I support our current governmental regime in any of it's capacity!!)   Now.  The comments that have been filtering around social media have all been to the extent of "why is he bringing up something so old", or "the Christians didn't persecute the Muslims, they defended themselves".  (these are not exact quotes, if you want to read them, head over to Walton & Johnson on Facebook) Reiterating my disclaimer one more time, so there is no misunderstanding:   I didn't vote for this cat......

As much as I feel like I need   to express the weirdness of this particular holiday season, I'm just not in the mood to.   Yes it's strange, yes I'm having trouble getting into it, but that's what happens when you lose a family member and your kids are grown up.  Instead, there's been something rolling around my little brain pan of late so instead of Christmasy blues...we're going to pick on Americas most popular uber-conservative family:  The Duggars. First off, let me say:  I'm not bashing them, I don't hate or dislike them, and I'm not about to rip apart their way of life. OK, now that that's out of the way.  There's a lot of controversy with how they live and who they are.  Yes they are very devout Baptists and live according to the Patriarchal Movement.  This is a belief that holds the notion the father is the head of the household and the mother his "helpmeet".  Gender roles are very specific and held in high regard.  Thi...

I have so much flying around in my brainpan these days.  This holiday season is going to be a very strange one.  There are family separations that I don't understand, and some that I do.  I lost my father this past month and my stepson, the Boy, lost his maternal grandfather earlier this year.  Those gaps will be very hard to fill.  There are so many more things going on that I just can't wrap my head around.  Death, that makes sense.  There's a level of ignorance happening around me that I can't abide and it's caused riffs that don't make sense to me. I was a reluctant mother.  That is not something I've exactly hidden.  I also took the necessary steps to make sure I never had anymore children regardless of what doctors, family members, and friends told me about it.  I know what happens when a woman follows gender roles or wants a baby to get a paycheck from some unsuspecting sap.  I was never going to follow those patterns, the ...

I read an article on NPR this morning about laziness in America.  It wasn't written to bash anyone or anything, just an observation on life in the US beginning with the founding fathers and their attitudes towards idle time. In our home growing up, we were never allowed to utter the words "I'm bored" without repercussion.  If there were no immediate chores to be done, the answer was to go read a book, which we did with fervor.  Other than that, there was always something to be done whether it was to wipe down baseboards, dust the living room, sweep anything and everything, or pick through peas.  Sleep was not an option.  Naps were reserved for a rare Sunday afternoon and only if mama took one first.  The only real way to get out of work at the house was to leave...in our case, go hide in the woods all afternoon until she was calling us in or we got hurt and just had to get it patched up proper.  Even heading over to hide at a friends house could res...

Another spring holiday has come and gone.  After the harrowing week of random attacks of illness in my house, a few not so minor changes, and standardized testing...we needed more than a few days to breathe.  You wanna talk about rebirth???  Yeah.  We got some rebirth going on here. Our little family walked into Ostara (Easter) holiday with some heavy hearts, frazzled minds, and aching bodies.  The Girl has been raising money for school trips and whatnot as well as battling the last standardized test of her elementary career.  While I was moving and cleaning up the rest of the house, she had officially taken over the bigger of the two secondary bedrooms.  No easy feat for a teenage girl who has a TON of stuff.  Honey wound up with medical issues ranging from infection to kidney stones all in the course of 3 days.  Never have I seen a man so exhausted or in pain.  In the midst of the insanity, the Boy came back to stay with us for a whi...

I've waited quite a while to lay this one down.  I guess I had to find my own voice on the subject before I could open that door.  Because I am no expert on anything, I gathered some wisdom from some ladies and gents around me to hand over their voices on the subject.  Originally this was going to be geared toward the women...but then it hit me, I've seen just as many men walked on as I have women.  So: To the Southern Divorcee (male or female) in training....here's a checklist of wisdom.  What we would have wanted (or needed) someone to tell us at that time in our lives.  Enjoy. First and foremost, you are stronger than you believe.  No matter how bad or ugly a situation looks, it's not going to last forever and yes, you can get past it.  Sometimes things don't work out, sometimes they crash and burn, sometimes...you just gotta leave.  No matter what the situation, hold your head high and don't forget...you are important and strong...

Decadence is....... a down feather comforter on a bed large enough for Henry VIII and all the wives.... luxury cats strategically placed around a room purring and grooming and just being beautiful a french press, an enamel cook pot, and wine decanters  blush wine and birthday cheesecake red velvet couches a fireplace full of pecan wood painted nails with no repercussions hair curlers worn without caution or jest because he knows tomorrow she will make the effort to look as good as she can wind chimes just outside every entrance someones favourite meal for their birthday dinner, made by someone who adores the person more than they adore the meal a spring day, a girl, and her dog Decadence is living in a home free of negativity and worry.  It's allowing life to play out as it will, knowing that things won't always be perfect.  It's being just opposite enough from your mate that there is always something interesting to talk about. ...

Chicken and tasso simmering in a Mag-na-Lite skillet, cold beer next to me, my girl soaking up some TV while she folds laundry, the Honey in the shower after a long, hot day.  My house is finally feeling like my home.  I've been in this house for three years now.  Everyday has contained a new lesson, a new awakening and has given me purpose.  This past week I spent on a cruise ship soaking up the sun and just being.  I got to put my hands on ancient structures, climb a temple, and have too-strong drinks with some wonderful people.  Amid sunburns, hangovers, perfect blue water and beautiful young bodies I came alive again.  Upon coming home my eyes opened to things I forgot to appreciate:  a loving generous daughter, a kind open-hearted man, and a home that has been mine all along. Yes, we are doing the YMCA at the top of a Mayan Temple Five days aboard a beautiful vessel was about as much fun as I've had in years.  We danced, we sang, w...