June 11, 2012

Spiritual Development...sorta

I put my altar up today.  It took some rearranging of things, making a new, clean space and some effort.  I'm glad it did.  That means it took a conscious decision to make it all happen.  It's been a long time coming.  I still have the altar cloth I was working on years ago when I lived in Texas.  I haven't finished it.  I never had a reason to, until now.  It's a "portable altar", meaning, small and light so I can take it and set it up where I need to when I need to.  Right now I need it to be in my house, in the most intimate and comfortable spot I can muster.  I didn't want it out in the open for any and all to have access to, so it's nestled comfortably by my side of the bed.

Hand crafted by me, with some minor help from an angelic Alabama man, I intend to keep adding to it until at some point in time it feels....complete.  In the process of making space for it, I moved some things and decluttered the room just a bit.  It all needed to be done, I'd just not had time/energy/will to do it.  Some of my pretties ended up living in the living room where everyone can see them.  I'm a collector of what some folks deem "dust collectors".  Some I've picked up during travels, others folks have given me over the years of moving and going and doing.  They are pretty and I am quite proud of them...so I have no issues with laying them out for the world to see.  My fella keeps telling me to make the house my own anyways.  Well, I'm trying.  It's a bit odd and hard some days.  We have very similar style but we also have so much.....stuff.  We combined two homes that were 10 years in the making. 

There is a woman's touch that wasn't here before though.  There is a certain air to the house that wasn't there before.  He says it's because I'm here, I think it's because he's happy.  I like our zoo, the pair of everything that has run of home and yard.  The beasties in our lives that have run of those too.  I am trying to make my mark without making him uncomfortable.  So far it seems like I'm doing alright. 

We were sitting last night flipping channels and he ended up on a religious program.  Not something that would have ever happened in my old life.  We do not share an exact same dogma, but we do agree on a higher power and a great divine that is subjective to each individuals view.  It's comforting to know that there is someone else in the house that has a definitive idea of God.  I like that he gives me room to believe the way I need to to bring me closer to that divine.  He gives me the space I need to believe. 

Another stone in the path to a new, old, me.  

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