July 31, 2012

Is your home sacred to you?

What's considered sacred anymore?  Or is anything?....most folks would say, a church or a temple, or perhaps an idea, or even that car they spent far too much money on and only drive on Sundays or for car shows.  What do you hold sacred?  Or do you hold anything sacred?  What about the house you live in?

I read something the last night in reference to the holiday Lammas (Aug 1st).  It is the celebration of the first seasonal harvest, it is meant to give thanks and reverence to all the men and women gone before who had to struggle off the land and rely on that first harvest so they had a firm start for winter.  It is a moment in time to hold your hearth and home sacred, because that is exactly what they should be.  Your home is supposed to be the place you work for, you sleep soundly at night, is a direct reflection of your person and your family.  Whether it's a modest apartment or a large ornate house, it's your home.  The place where you cook dinner, sit around and watch silly movies, doctor up your children's scraps and bumps, where the cats and dogs shed for fun. 

Now how many of you will let just anyone in past your door or your foyer?  How many of you will make a delivery guy stand on the steps while you get your checkbook or cash?  And why do we do this?  We do it because we don't want anyone or anything crossing our thresh hold with permission that should not be there.  Why hang crucifixes or horseshoes over the door for protection?  Why do we bother to go through the trouble if someone in that home is simply going to open that door to anything or anyone.  Better yet, why do it if we know somehow that something not welcome is going to force it's way in?

I've had vehicles broken into, both while I was home asleep, once late at night, and once at around 9 am while I was on my couch napping about 20 feet from the actual vehicle.  I have also had my home broken into while I was (thankfully) still awake at 2:00 in the morning.  All the fella took was my purses out of the kitchen, I lost a book of checks and some precious to me jewelry, nothing more.  Nothing more besides what little trust I had, and my sanity at the time.  Trying to rebuild a shattered trust in humanity has been a long, arduous process.  I was beginning to get better, my yellow house was never vandalized or broken into, neither the little house I'd moved to upon divorce.  It has all been set back just a hair over the last two years.

As most know I'm in a blended family now, me and mine, and he and his.  His is almost 18, and quite typical for his age, headstrong and a bit know-it-allish.  The normal teenage complaints aside, he's naive and very very trusting.

In the two years I've lived there, our home has been violated multiple times by young people who have no regard for anyone or anything.  It all started with a pair of antique spurs and snowballed from there.  Since then we've had odd random things come up missing, gasoline pilfered, and most recently alcohol that is basically irreplaceable as well as change that belonged to whomever in the house needed it.  The things themselves are not a big deal, they were/are replaceable or somewhat insignificant in the grand scheme of life.  "So why be upset?" you ask?  Why not.  A sacred space was invaded and in a manner of speaking, raped.  Respect was tossed out the window, trust was demolished, and simple regard was ignored. 

So who do you hold responsible for said actions?  The children themselves?  In some cases, they can't be considered children anymore, 18, 19, 21 years of age.  Of course to seek retribution is useless in these cases, gas has long since been burned, the spurs were returned, the booze has already been returned to it's original form and flushed away and the change locked away in a bar room pool table.  How do we instill in our children, our offspring, our charges, that there are some things you just. don't. do.  There are some things that you don't mess with, someones home, someones personal belongings, and how do you instill in them that you can't trust people off the bat.  Being a friend of a friend, or so & so's cousin does not make them automatically decent.  It just means they know someone you know. 

I guess my biggest hang up is, where did hearth and home stop being sacred?  When did stealing a drink or three out of your parents liquor bottle turn into: walking off with 10 year old scotch that belonged to someone you didn't even know to begin with?  Moms and dads working 40-50-60 hours weeks, babysitters, day care...where do the lessons begin?  Who's teaching the younger ones ultimate respect, right from wrong, and good from bad?  How do you teach your child that they can't trust everyone, that trust is built over time, not just freely thrown about to any Tom, Dick or Harry that calls you "friend".  I have always had an "open door" policy in regard to my home and my people.  MY home, and MY people.  They  know who they are.  Anyone else, can wait by the front steps.  Truly, actually knowing someone does not happen overnight.  It takes months, sometimes years to really get in there. 

All this being said, in the natural order of things, there of course have been and will continue to be changes to our home.  Some of them are not pleasant, who really wants to live a life locked up and fearful?  I believe in fences, and I believe in dogs that bite, it's just sad that it's got to be that way.



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