January 18, 2013

Generation gaps and Relationships

A while back on a run for the shop, I met a young fellow who was a bit taken with me.  It was an end of the day emergency "get it n go" type situation.  I walked into their lobby in stained wrecked jeans, a dirty work shirt and messy hair.  I'd been in the yard all that day moving parts and getting filthy, but for whatever reason he thought my smile was the be all end all.  I was flattered and moved on about my business.  This week I found myself having to interact with said young man again, we had an issue in the shop that I needed the company's advice on.  Once he realized who I was we got a bit chatty.  I found out he's roughly 9 years younger than me, should I have been single at any given moment of our interactions, that alone would have been a deal breaker.  I have a strict bracket of ages when it comes to the opposite sex and who I'm will to give a try.  But he made sure to express that he was more than interested in older women.

He told me he was in the middle of divorcing and mentioned a bit about how I keep myself vs. his estranged wife.  You see, even though I work in a rough environment, I still have my nails done, I wear makeup every day and make sure my hair is neat or under a head rag that befits my uniform.  (thus the Rosie the Riveter semblance)  He mentioned that his ex didn't do such things and he liked the fact that I showed up both times-- once a hot mess and the second time bright and early and well put together-- looking like I cared about my appearance.  Well, I do.  He brought up the comparison between "younger" women and "older" women, i.e. the ex at whatever mid-twenties she is, and me in my mid-thirties.  He said older women know what they want and take better care of themselves.  I told him it was a generational thing, each one has it's issues, mine included.  I've had my DILLIGAF years, I moved on when I realized I liked looking in the mirror and seeing a clean face and pretty nails.  Not to mention I'm ever so slightly vain.

I noticed something else in our chat however, he referred to dating/being with young women as dealing with a Chinese finger trap, you never know what to do.  We talked about raising girl children and how the latest generation is so "plugged in" and what to do to keep the youngest ones from becoming that electro-zombie.  I made mention of my own work ethic and that of the women before me.  I do believe in working hard and playing harder but I also believe there are men who expect their women to take sole care of themselves.  What I mean is, they don't want to contribute to her nail fund or throw in the extra $20 to get the  hair cut and styled at a good salon.  Part of how a woman treats and reacts to her man and her home is how she is treated by said man.  I'm not saying she has to rely on him for every little thing, sure go get your own paycheck boo, but if he really cared about how you present yourself, he'd contribute to it as well.  I have a man who never complains about sitting in the nail shop waiting for me, and as a general rule, he pays for my nails. 

I guess what I'm getting at is, if a man is unhappy because his woman isn't the uber-girly, kept up type then maybe you picked the wrong one. OR, maybe you didn't wait long enough to find out who she really is.  On the flip side of the coin, if we as women are going to pull out all the stops when we go out to pick up a fella then we should remember that keeping him is the hard part.  Just like women complain about their man not going the extra mile, buying the flowers or having a date night, it works both ways. 

Just food for thought.  I tend to throw people off because of the way I am, I'm a beautiful mess and I know that.  There aren't many who would pull off calloused, stained hands tipped with perfectly painted nails and eyeliner 6 days a week.  Somehow I do it and some folks find it endearing.  I can't speak for those younger or older than me, I come from a line of women who lived for their men, their gardens, and their children.  They did it in dresses and stockings, Garrett snuff and head rags.  I'm a tough one to measure someone else up against. 

3 comments:

  1. But you know girl, You are special because you are who you are.

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  2. Liz You Rock!!! And most people are just jealous that they are not nearly as Fabulous!! ;-)
    But I'm biased because you are my sister....in-law. ;-)

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