Let Freedom Ring
Public school is getting started everywhere and university will be right behind it later this month. My Girl will be headed to her own dwelling in a few days....another bird out of the nest.
While I am worried about her, I know she'll be OK. She's got a strong foundation and a safety net should she ever need it. I believe in her need to be an individual and try to do life on her own terms, I can't begrudge anyone their independence.
Honey asked me the other night if her father knew she was moving out..I told him I have no idea. She doesn't talk about him at all these days, he's just a passing thought. I know they keep in contact, he sent her a magical $50 gift card for school stuff. Yeah I know, that's petty. It's not the gift it's the consideration. Screw that. She's headed to university where she will be in charge of her own everything....life is not cheap. You want to help? Offer to pay her car insurance for a year. Give her Amazon credit for textbook rentals and purchases. I suppose I should be grateful for the health insurance he said he'd keep her on and the free car that's been in the shop as much as it's been out since we got it.
For the first time in a long time Honey actually got angry with the Ex. We picked her car up from it's latest repair-rusted leaking brake line-and in our convo about the car itself Daddy Bear (as he puts it) came out. The fact that Ex paid $600 for a used car isn't the issue...it's the fact that the car is only actually worth that 600. There's getting a good deal and then there's buying the cheapest thing you can find and trying to make it sound like a good deal. We aren't talking about inconveniences like a crappy AC or a bad battery. Even after Ex so-called repaired the necessities and drove it down here, we've put more time and money into things that have been safety issues. An inexperienced driver won't know how to handle a car that suddenly has no power steering while they're on a busy street. Panic ensues with even the most seasoned driver when it comes to brakes failing. Thankfully we have an amazing support system, and we've been able to get all the work done without killing what little money we have coming in.
A lot of people ask me if I'm OK with her moving out and starting life on her own. I am. I know I'm supposed to be freaking out and "oh my gawd-ing" it all over the place, but I'm not. Am I worried about her? Absolutely. Do I have faith in her? Yes I do. Do I trust her judgment? I do, but even if I didn't...it doesn't matter. I can't live her life for her and I can't write her script. She knows where I am and she knows I've got her back, no matter what.
There's also a tiny little selfish piece of me that is ready to breathe and be alone for a minute. I have to admit I have been jealous of her father's freedom. He has been able to do anything he wanted for the last 8 years. He's had little to no parental responsibility since she was 10 years old and her moving into a new place won't affect him at all, he won't see the packed boxes or empty room. While empty nest is a little scary, it's also liberating. I've been defined for the last 20 years as someones mother and/or wife. This will be the first time that I won't have that dual delineation. I'm incredibly proud of the child I raised. I'm also ready to be a bit more of the person I wanted to be. Life doesn't turn out the way you plan, sometimes you have to wait to get your turn.
While I am worried about her, I know she'll be OK. She's got a strong foundation and a safety net should she ever need it. I believe in her need to be an individual and try to do life on her own terms, I can't begrudge anyone their independence.
Honey asked me the other night if her father knew she was moving out..I told him I have no idea. She doesn't talk about him at all these days, he's just a passing thought. I know they keep in contact, he sent her a magical $50 gift card for school stuff. Yeah I know, that's petty. It's not the gift it's the consideration. Screw that. She's headed to university where she will be in charge of her own everything....life is not cheap. You want to help? Offer to pay her car insurance for a year. Give her Amazon credit for textbook rentals and purchases. I suppose I should be grateful for the health insurance he said he'd keep her on and the free car that's been in the shop as much as it's been out since we got it.
For the first time in a long time Honey actually got angry with the Ex. We picked her car up from it's latest repair-rusted leaking brake line-and in our convo about the car itself Daddy Bear (as he puts it) came out. The fact that Ex paid $600 for a used car isn't the issue...it's the fact that the car is only actually worth that 600. There's getting a good deal and then there's buying the cheapest thing you can find and trying to make it sound like a good deal. We aren't talking about inconveniences like a crappy AC or a bad battery. Even after Ex so-called repaired the necessities and drove it down here, we've put more time and money into things that have been safety issues. An inexperienced driver won't know how to handle a car that suddenly has no power steering while they're on a busy street. Panic ensues with even the most seasoned driver when it comes to brakes failing. Thankfully we have an amazing support system, and we've been able to get all the work done without killing what little money we have coming in.
A lot of people ask me if I'm OK with her moving out and starting life on her own. I am. I know I'm supposed to be freaking out and "oh my gawd-ing" it all over the place, but I'm not. Am I worried about her? Absolutely. Do I have faith in her? Yes I do. Do I trust her judgment? I do, but even if I didn't...it doesn't matter. I can't live her life for her and I can't write her script. She knows where I am and she knows I've got her back, no matter what.
There's also a tiny little selfish piece of me that is ready to breathe and be alone for a minute. I have to admit I have been jealous of her father's freedom. He has been able to do anything he wanted for the last 8 years. He's had little to no parental responsibility since she was 10 years old and her moving into a new place won't affect him at all, he won't see the packed boxes or empty room. While empty nest is a little scary, it's also liberating. I've been defined for the last 20 years as someones mother and/or wife. This will be the first time that I won't have that dual delineation. I'm incredibly proud of the child I raised. I'm also ready to be a bit more of the person I wanted to be. Life doesn't turn out the way you plan, sometimes you have to wait to get your turn.
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