Normal is Relative
Some days there just isn't enough coffee. But there may be red lipstick and appetizers later.
Apparently I'm not supposed to be venting in a "public" blog. Ya know because those I write about might catch wind of it. oooooo. Bad Liz, bad bad. I'm not supposed to air the perceived transgressions of my ex, or fuss about things in life that get under my skin. Well, I suppose maybe I'm allowed just as long as it's only to an approved source that will keep any frustrations to themselves. Or maybe I'm supposed to continue to play my role as kicked puppy and not say anything, ever, in any capacity. Meh. Either way, those latter things aren't going to happen. Getting all this crap out of my head has been therapeutic in it's own little way, I never should have slowed down. If anyone gets referenced, inadvertently or otherwise, and takes offense, so be it. This is my brain spillage, this is my perception of life thus far, other people have their own perception and that's OK too.
Get offa my cloud.
Anywho. On to the meat of today's spill. I've been tossed back into an old pond recently. I've rekindled with a Marine Corps buddy that I was close to years ago overseas. It's been a sweet and bittersweet reunion. We search for others in our crew from back then, talk about the good and bad days we had and plot our future successes. Along with this reunion I dove into helping out a couple other buddies who have been victims of our beautiful government system. You see, the federal government only takes care of personnel they deem worthy of their time or money. There's no algorithm to it, to rule to follow, no rhyme or reason to how they choose those they wish to reward. It's personal. Every time. This troop didn't conform exactly the way this one higher up wanted, so they are a permanent target. This other troop did the job fine, got out, asked a single question while doing the VA dance, now they are a permanent target.
I was finally allowed to have post surgery physical therapy for my carpal tunnel release. (yes allowed-the surgeon kept refusing my request) I was able to go to a private clinic since the VA is crazy full right now. The therapist did explain to me that typically the surgery goes well enough that PT isn't necessary-thus the VA surgeon's insistence that I didn't need extra help. Typically the patient is sent home with some exercise instructions and they heal up appropriately. Mine, however, wasn't ideal. The length of time I dealt with the condition coupled with the severity of the nerve crush, a little extra help should not have been ignored. I do actually have to work for a living.
Seeing my little injustice pared next to people who have had real rights straight up denied because they didn't kiss an ass or didn't kiss the correct one slays me. Reading about the mind games the fleet and later the VA play with people is astounding. I know we are all brainwashed during basic training, that has to happen to develop a soldier, but to throw us back out into the world without a guide....that's just wrong. Even the most basic, peacetime troop exits active service with bits of OCD and mild anxiety. That's what boot camp does for you. It rewires your brain to question little to nothing and maintain very specific standards that are hard to shake. I haven't made a bed daily since I was discharged, but when we change sheets, I have to do it my own way otherwise I literally can't sleep in the bed. My work desk is a strange, ordered mess and my closet is ordered very specifically...don't touch my stuff. We all have our ticks.
Thankfully we do have advocates who are here to help us get over the hump and fall back into some societal norms. If I can do one little thing to help someone else who had a far worse time that I did, I'm all over it. I don't necessarily regret my enlistment but it certainly is not a highlight of my life and I don't talk about it as if it is. I can't imagine what it's like for those who have been cast aside. It's those people I'd like to find some measure of justice for. Their only crime may have been trying to live like a normal person, normal is the enemy of the state.
https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/brainwashing.htm
Apparently I'm not supposed to be venting in a "public" blog. Ya know because those I write about might catch wind of it. oooooo. Bad Liz, bad bad. I'm not supposed to air the perceived transgressions of my ex, or fuss about things in life that get under my skin. Well, I suppose maybe I'm allowed just as long as it's only to an approved source that will keep any frustrations to themselves. Or maybe I'm supposed to continue to play my role as kicked puppy and not say anything, ever, in any capacity. Meh. Either way, those latter things aren't going to happen. Getting all this crap out of my head has been therapeutic in it's own little way, I never should have slowed down. If anyone gets referenced, inadvertently or otherwise, and takes offense, so be it. This is my brain spillage, this is my perception of life thus far, other people have their own perception and that's OK too.
Get offa my cloud.
Anywho. On to the meat of today's spill. I've been tossed back into an old pond recently. I've rekindled with a Marine Corps buddy that I was close to years ago overseas. It's been a sweet and bittersweet reunion. We search for others in our crew from back then, talk about the good and bad days we had and plot our future successes. Along with this reunion I dove into helping out a couple other buddies who have been victims of our beautiful government system. You see, the federal government only takes care of personnel they deem worthy of their time or money. There's no algorithm to it, to rule to follow, no rhyme or reason to how they choose those they wish to reward. It's personal. Every time. This troop didn't conform exactly the way this one higher up wanted, so they are a permanent target. This other troop did the job fine, got out, asked a single question while doing the VA dance, now they are a permanent target.
I was finally allowed to have post surgery physical therapy for my carpal tunnel release. (yes allowed-the surgeon kept refusing my request) I was able to go to a private clinic since the VA is crazy full right now. The therapist did explain to me that typically the surgery goes well enough that PT isn't necessary-thus the VA surgeon's insistence that I didn't need extra help. Typically the patient is sent home with some exercise instructions and they heal up appropriately. Mine, however, wasn't ideal. The length of time I dealt with the condition coupled with the severity of the nerve crush, a little extra help should not have been ignored. I do actually have to work for a living.
Seeing my little injustice pared next to people who have had real rights straight up denied because they didn't kiss an ass or didn't kiss the correct one slays me. Reading about the mind games the fleet and later the VA play with people is astounding. I know we are all brainwashed during basic training, that has to happen to develop a soldier, but to throw us back out into the world without a guide....that's just wrong. Even the most basic, peacetime troop exits active service with bits of OCD and mild anxiety. That's what boot camp does for you. It rewires your brain to question little to nothing and maintain very specific standards that are hard to shake. I haven't made a bed daily since I was discharged, but when we change sheets, I have to do it my own way otherwise I literally can't sleep in the bed. My work desk is a strange, ordered mess and my closet is ordered very specifically...don't touch my stuff. We all have our ticks.
Thankfully we do have advocates who are here to help us get over the hump and fall back into some societal norms. If I can do one little thing to help someone else who had a far worse time that I did, I'm all over it. I don't necessarily regret my enlistment but it certainly is not a highlight of my life and I don't talk about it as if it is. I can't imagine what it's like for those who have been cast aside. It's those people I'd like to find some measure of justice for. Their only crime may have been trying to live like a normal person, normal is the enemy of the state.
https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/brainwashing.htm
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