Detrimental Mediocrity
I Googled this because I was curious to see if it was really a thing. Apparently it is! But each link on the first page referenced employment in some manner or life in general.
What if a person doesn't have a mediocre life but does mediocre things for others? When treating themselves they buy tickets to their favorite sports game or explore a new restaurant on a regular basis. They take full advantage of anything that makes them feel happy and fulfilled. That's what they will do for themselves.
For those around them, on the other hand...
"Well I did the best I could!"
Really? Did you? Did you really do the very best thing you could do? Did you sacrifice a little of what you do for yourself to give a little more than the bare minimum? If the answer is anything but a verifiable 'Yes', then they are practicing detrimental mediocrity. I say detrimental because it will end up having that kind of effect. Friends, and sometimes family, are dropped every day because they don't put equal effort into relationships. People stop going to restaurants or using certain services because they aren't getting good quality. We don't condemn someone for dropping a mechanic who repeatedly damaged their car or seriously overcharged. Fair weather friends and family are given chances until there are no more to give. There's only so much a person can take before they have enough and move on to reliable counterparts.
One thing we tend to say out loud is, "they knew better than that!" Ideally, no they don't know, but once they realize they are causing harm to others and ultimately themselves, they wake up and fly right. The more sobering fact is, yes, they absolutely know and they justify their behavior because they don't want to do any better.
Out come the lines:
"well this is what was done to me so that's what I do to others"
"you came to me, I didn't ask you to"
"you expect too much"
"this is the best I can do, I'm sorry if it's just not good enough for you"
See there's this fine line between good and good enough. Sometimes good enough simply isn't. Yes, C work may be one person's best, but it is not The best. (I'm not picking on anyone with genuine limitations, stick with me here) If a person is totally capable of doing well but offers up less than that, they can't complain when it isn't looked on favorably. The most fun thing about people who do the least for others is the praise they expect for doing anything at all. A minimal deed is seen as an amazing, praise worthy attempt at goodness. Those around them are supposed to focus on that one small thing, not the multitude of things that should have happened, but didn't. Any criticism of that fact gets met with a smoke and mirrors type response, "well I did X! Why are you worried about A-V??" Or they start picking apart the ones who point out that this could have been done better. Personal attacks and pity parties rear their heads. Recipients or those who go to bat for them are labelled as ungrateful or having unreasonable expectations. The fault never lies with the selfish prick who just wanted 5 minutes of false praise.
It's pathetic really. When you really start noticing what certain people favor in their lives, you get a good bead on what and who they find important. After a while, those mediocre gestures stop being effective. Other people have to step in and make up the difference or fix a mess that is made because the best solution wasn't employed. So then what? Expectations hit the floor. Relationships break down. The losers pick themselves up, throw away the trash and start saying, "no thank you". It takes a while for the realization to hit those who have been neglectful. Mindful people feel remorse and try to repair the damage, but not everyone is so astute. Others take offense to the perceived slight on their "best" and flounce away. They sit around pulling up crocodile tears wondering why no one wants to deal with them anymore? Instead of reflecting and trying to become a better person, it's much easier to just find a new group of suckers who buy a "they all left me" sob story.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201608/self-absorption-the-root-all-psychological-evil
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/9741.php
What if a person doesn't have a mediocre life but does mediocre things for others? When treating themselves they buy tickets to their favorite sports game or explore a new restaurant on a regular basis. They take full advantage of anything that makes them feel happy and fulfilled. That's what they will do for themselves.
For those around them, on the other hand...
"Well I did the best I could!"
Really? Did you? Did you really do the very best thing you could do? Did you sacrifice a little of what you do for yourself to give a little more than the bare minimum? If the answer is anything but a verifiable 'Yes', then they are practicing detrimental mediocrity. I say detrimental because it will end up having that kind of effect. Friends, and sometimes family, are dropped every day because they don't put equal effort into relationships. People stop going to restaurants or using certain services because they aren't getting good quality. We don't condemn someone for dropping a mechanic who repeatedly damaged their car or seriously overcharged. Fair weather friends and family are given chances until there are no more to give. There's only so much a person can take before they have enough and move on to reliable counterparts.
One thing we tend to say out loud is, "they knew better than that!" Ideally, no they don't know, but once they realize they are causing harm to others and ultimately themselves, they wake up and fly right. The more sobering fact is, yes, they absolutely know and they justify their behavior because they don't want to do any better.
Out come the lines:
"well this is what was done to me so that's what I do to others"
"you came to me, I didn't ask you to"
"you expect too much"
"this is the best I can do, I'm sorry if it's just not good enough for you"
See there's this fine line between good and good enough. Sometimes good enough simply isn't. Yes, C work may be one person's best, but it is not The best. (I'm not picking on anyone with genuine limitations, stick with me here) If a person is totally capable of doing well but offers up less than that, they can't complain when it isn't looked on favorably. The most fun thing about people who do the least for others is the praise they expect for doing anything at all. A minimal deed is seen as an amazing, praise worthy attempt at goodness. Those around them are supposed to focus on that one small thing, not the multitude of things that should have happened, but didn't. Any criticism of that fact gets met with a smoke and mirrors type response, "well I did X! Why are you worried about A-V??" Or they start picking apart the ones who point out that this could have been done better. Personal attacks and pity parties rear their heads. Recipients or those who go to bat for them are labelled as ungrateful or having unreasonable expectations. The fault never lies with the selfish prick who just wanted 5 minutes of false praise.
It's pathetic really. When you really start noticing what certain people favor in their lives, you get a good bead on what and who they find important. After a while, those mediocre gestures stop being effective. Other people have to step in and make up the difference or fix a mess that is made because the best solution wasn't employed. So then what? Expectations hit the floor. Relationships break down. The losers pick themselves up, throw away the trash and start saying, "no thank you". It takes a while for the realization to hit those who have been neglectful. Mindful people feel remorse and try to repair the damage, but not everyone is so astute. Others take offense to the perceived slight on their "best" and flounce away. They sit around pulling up crocodile tears wondering why no one wants to deal with them anymore? Instead of reflecting and trying to become a better person, it's much easier to just find a new group of suckers who buy a "they all left me" sob story.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201608/self-absorption-the-root-all-psychological-evil
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/9741.php
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