Peace
For the first time in longer than I can remember...I haven't had to sit and beg God for peace. So many nights I pleaded to find a sense of peace somewhere in my life. That is a feeling I never thought I'd find, I just assumed I was flawed and I would fight that forever.
This hasn't been an easy transition. The house we are trying to leave has fought tooth and nail to remain in our lives. While I was laying down some needed flooring a while back I remembered back to the very first time I ever visited there. Way before there was a relationship...way before we were even a thought together. "I will never live in that house" Jokes on me because I lived there for almost 10 years. It sheltered children, harbored some fights and some tears. It tried to catch on fire twice, the roof gave up and leaked like a sieve for months. Pets, children, jobs.....life. It does not want to let that go.
We try to personify inanimate objects because that's how we can relate to them. I believe that house is attached to Jamie just as he's attached to it. It's more than served it's purpose for us and needs to move on to the next set of players. The new property is open. It's apprehensive, but welcoming. Well. Besides the mailbox issues and my fight with the water company. I had to tell the barn we weren't tearing down, we're renewing. A freshening up so new babies can come live there and be happy again. I think the house is willing to be laughed in again.
No where else have I been able to run outside with a Frankenstein camera set up and look at stars. No where else has afforded me the ability to burn random things without consequence. As an adult I've lived near the beach, in the city, behind a mountain, on the edge of town...but not in such an unhindered place.
I don't know how this is all going to play out, but I hope it's a good thing. I hope we both get something that we were looking for out of it all.
This hasn't been an easy transition. The house we are trying to leave has fought tooth and nail to remain in our lives. While I was laying down some needed flooring a while back I remembered back to the very first time I ever visited there. Way before there was a relationship...way before we were even a thought together. "I will never live in that house" Jokes on me because I lived there for almost 10 years. It sheltered children, harbored some fights and some tears. It tried to catch on fire twice, the roof gave up and leaked like a sieve for months. Pets, children, jobs.....life. It does not want to let that go.
We try to personify inanimate objects because that's how we can relate to them. I believe that house is attached to Jamie just as he's attached to it. It's more than served it's purpose for us and needs to move on to the next set of players. The new property is open. It's apprehensive, but welcoming. Well. Besides the mailbox issues and my fight with the water company. I had to tell the barn we weren't tearing down, we're renewing. A freshening up so new babies can come live there and be happy again. I think the house is willing to be laughed in again.
No where else have I been able to run outside with a Frankenstein camera set up and look at stars. No where else has afforded me the ability to burn random things without consequence. As an adult I've lived near the beach, in the city, behind a mountain, on the edge of town...but not in such an unhindered place.
I don't know how this is all going to play out, but I hope it's a good thing. I hope we both get something that we were looking for out of it all.
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