April 15, 2012

Finding Lizbet

Being out in the woods in my old stomping grounds always makes me thoughty.  It also makes me dream.  I don't sleep especially well there mainly because I sleep on a pull out sofa bed when my old man comes with me.  See, we're not married and it's not prudent for us to sleep in the same bed at my mama's.  I'm ok with it.  Kinda have to be huh?  Anyhow, because I'm aware of myself pretty much all night my mind works the whole time.  This particular weekend me and mine along with my sister and her brood cleaned the whole yard and pasture behind both houses.  It took basically all of Saturday to get it done.  While we were working I was able to get a good bead on what exactly was out there and how the lay of the land goes. 

I'm probably what people would call an alarmist.  I don't think I am, I just think I'm cautious and attentive.  There's a bit of a curse that comes with having a fairly honed sixth sense.  Sometimes you don't want to acknowledge what you know is going to happen because someone else isn't going to believe you.  Thankfully my little vacation a month ago has helped me get over that (somewhat).  I like knowing that if (when) the US takes it's plunge, we have a place to go.  That little security that a small piece of land offers is amazing.  I've lived in the city for so many years and have learned to trust it.  Well I say trust, it's one of those, "I trust you to do exactly what you're going to do", type things.  The one place on this earth that I do trust is the woods.  I know exactly what's out there and why it's there. 

I've been whining so much the last few months about accomplishments and getting what I want out of life.  Well I guess I whined enough because the Universe handed me a little bit to hush me up.  I guess maybe I've been too busy looking at what I don't have going on that I almost missed what I do have and I what I had the capability to have.  Going and running my back roads helped make it all real for me.  Yeah, I'm still stuck living in the middle of a city, but I do have a place to go when I get enough.  It took me till I'm almost 35 to do it, but I finally bought the truck I've always wanted, so I can go get my feet dirty and run those roads.  Lord willing, I'll be able to keep it at least as long as I kept my little truck.  There have been a lot of revelations so far this year, and with each one, I grow just a little bit more and I get a little bit closer to who I used to be and who I'm going to be.  If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, when  you live with someone who wants to change you, you lose more than you can afford. 

ME:
1.  I'm a country girl
2.  I'm not afraid to work and get dirty
3.  I'm a Sci-Fi geek
4.  I'm madly in love with a cowboy
5.  I'm a good mama to a great child
6.  I love the Earth and everything Holy

1 comment:

  1. And you forgot something important, You have friends who love you because you are all of those things ;)

    ReplyDelete