Finding Lizbet

-
Being out in the woods in my old stomping grounds always makes me thoughty.  It also makes me dream.  I don't sleep especially well there mainly because I sleep on a pull out sofa bed when my old man comes with me.  See, we're not married and it's not prudent for us to sleep in the same bed at my mama's.  I'm ok with it.  Kinda have to be huh?  Anyhow, because I'm aware of myself pretty much all night my mind works the whole time.  This particular weekend me and mine along with my sister and her brood cleaned the whole yard and pasture behind both houses.  It took basically all of Saturday to get it done.  While we were working I was able to get a good bead on what exactly was out there and how the lay of the land goes. 

I'm probably what people would call an alarmist.  I don't think I am, I just think I'm cautious and attentive.  There's a bit of a curse that comes with having a fairly honed sixth sense.  Sometimes you don't want to acknowledge what you know is going to happen because someone else isn't going to believe you.  Thankfully my little vacation a month ago has helped me get over that (somewhat).  I like knowing that if (when) the US takes it's plunge, we have a place to go.  That little security that a small piece of land offers is amazing.  I've lived in the city for so many years and have learned to trust it.  Well I say trust, it's one of those, "I trust you to do exactly what you're going to do", type things.  The one place on this earth that I do trust is the woods.  I know exactly what's out there and why it's there. 

I've been whining so much the last few months about accomplishments and getting what I want out of life.  Well I guess I whined enough because the Universe handed me a little bit to hush me up.  I guess maybe I've been too busy looking at what I don't have going on that I almost missed what I do have and I what I had the capability to have.  Going and running my back roads helped make it all real for me.  Yeah, I'm still stuck living in the middle of a city, but I do have a place to go when I get enough.  It took me till I'm almost 35 to do it, but I finally bought the truck I've always wanted, so I can go get my feet dirty and run those roads.  Lord willing, I'll be able to keep it at least as long as I kept my little truck.  There have been a lot of revelations so far this year, and with each one, I grow just a little bit more and I get a little bit closer to who I used to be and who I'm going to be.  If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, when  you live with someone who wants to change you, you lose more than you can afford. 

ME:
1.  I'm a country girl
2.  I'm not afraid to work and get dirty
3.  I'm a Sci-Fi geek
4.  I'm madly in love with a cowboy
5.  I'm a good mama to a great child
6.  I love the Earth and everything Holy

Comments

  1. ChristineApril 15, 2012 at 7:25 PM

    And you forgot something important, You have friends who love you because you are all of those things ;)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Perspective

-
Image
I went home to the woods this past weekend to attend my nephews high school graduation.  Honey came with me and got to see for real the kind of community I came from.  I can only assume he liked it. While I was home my mother put something into perspective for me that hadn't crossed my mind before.  You see, I'm aware that I come from a poorer area, I'm aware that being raised in the country has created a pattern of thought very different from those who live where I live now.  I very often preach gratitude and appreciation.  I am quick to tell someone they don't appreciate what they have, you think someone is always going to be there for you.  I simply assumed it was backwoods Southern raisin'.  Then she said this:  "You and your sister grew up with the understanding that your father was about to die at any moment."  See, for us, there was no safety net.  After his first two heart attacks in the early 80's the rest of his, and our, life has been a wa
Read more

Finding Catharsis

-
Image
Catharsis:  2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension (1) Thank you Mr. Webster. I've tried for the last few months not to make this blog about me and my ex and my issues.  So far I've done a decent job.  I'm not one who is fond of hanging dirty laundry out for the world to view, even though quite a bit of the world has had a peek at it in the last few years.  So, here's a question to ponder:  how do you let go when an ex won't say they are sorry or never acknowledges they wronged you?  Especially when you've admitted all the things you screwed up at? At the risk of being messy and fish-wifeish I sit here to achieve some much needed catharsis.  I very desperately need some purgation.  Seeing as how this is my current form of art and expression, this is the medium I will use.  Maybe once it's all out
Read more

Where do we fit?

-
Image
Mardi Gras.  A south Louisiana tradition.  There are parades, bands at every bar, almost 2 full weeks of revelry.  And there are balls.  Gorgeous, fun, glitter filled debutante nights of floor length gowns, champagne, big hair, and all the best schwag you can collect.  Beads are like gold here.  There are good beads, OK beads, great beads, and flat out crappy beads.  Typically you want the flashy ones, the ones that have medallions on them, or something that sets them apart.  I like the ones that are big and colorful:  bright pink, pearl, or gold.  But I have plenty that have something really great, like masks or babies.  I have a tendency to dive for doubloons also.  They aren't made of metal anymore but they are still collectors items and I have plenty. This years Krewe of Rio stash This year I accompanied a good friend of mine to a more upper tier ball.  The way Mardi Gras works here, each Krewe has a celebration, or Bal.  The prime gay ball to attend is the Krewe of Apol
Read more