May 06, 2012

Where the week begins...

I wish that Sunday's weren't just another work day, but in my world they are.  Years ago Sunday's stopped being a day of rest for me.  Sunday's are laundry day, get the rest of the house clean day, yard day, and now cleaning the offices day.  Why don't I do it on Saturday you ask?  Well, because Saturdays are work days too, I can't cram it all into one.  Well, leave it, a little dirt or laundry never hurt anyone....yeah well, when it can't be dealt with over the course of the week it does. 

I've never been one to let something sit.  I can't, it eats me alive.  It's harder now because I have a much longer commute to work so my days are cut down even more.  Leave the house before 7 am and get home well after 5.  There's barely enough time to see my people before dinner, baths and bed.  Such is the life of the mama. 

Most mothers do way too much.  We give up our lives for those around us, it's part of the process.  Then there's the classic feeling of "no one appreciates anything I do", and for the most part that's true.  After a certain length of time, it becomes so commonplace that she's going to take care of it, nobody says thank you.  Then they remember, or get reminded by a tired mama who is ready to throw the dishtowel at them and hit the open road for a few hours, by then the feelings have already been hurt.  At least the pets will give you a lick or a rub on the leg. 

I guess I'm just a victim of the super full moon this month or maybe I'm just tired.  I don't know.  The abandonment and aggravation is at it's height, and I can't go take a drive because I have sheets to fold.  So I take my few minutes to type it out, maybe go have a beer in the backyard that I cut earlier, scratch a kitty on the head.  Is it the end of the world, no.  Not even close, but it would be nice to actually get that back rub that's been promised for the last month or so

I miss having a simpler life.  I don't want to harbour bitterness but I do sometimes.  Working all week, not seeing my child, coming home to a busy house that I can't get ahead of.....and for what?  Honestly what do I get out of it?  What's the use in having a good, smart child, or a kind fella if you never see them?  Or a nice house or vehicle if you spend all your time at work?  We drove through River Ranch earlier, he made the comment, "I wonder how anyone can enjoy a house that big?"  The chat went on, I mentioned that I wouldn't want to live in something like that.  Living in a place where everything is convenient, easy, makes you complacent.  You forget where you came from and expect all of life to be as easy.  I'm not opposed to comfortable, I opposed to pretentious. 

All I want is what I need and a little appreciation for keeping it as nice as I can.
Too much to ask?

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