December 27, 2013

Walking in to the New Year.....

I think 2013 has been had to be right?  Business is picking up, the kids are healthy, neither house has fallen in on itself, the bills are paid, the trucks run....

I think everyone sets themselves up to try to make major changes from one year to the next.  Each New Years is like a new slate, clean and fresh, ready for new beginnings.  Everyone wants to put away that one bad habit they just can't kick or take up something new they always wanted to try.  Still others are searching for that peace:  the end to that bad relationship, the release of toxic people or ideas, or perhaps simply to clarify their own mind and inner daemons.  I am by no means immune to any of this.  Each year starts off with the classic, "I will lose weight".  There was one year that I did it, I maintained my figure and was satisfied with the image in the mirror.  I will be there again.  Apologies in advance if any of my posts are riddled with fitness motivations and dietary trials.  Without a drill instructor behind me, I need all the motivation I can get!!

More than anything I want to walk in to the new year with a greater sense of self.  I want to purge myself of all the angst, the negative, the ugly ends of the last few years.  Closing doors, blocking off bridges (the ones I don't burn), or simply saying, "no."  'No' is a powerful word for Southern women.  We are well aware that it exists and isn't technically a dirty word, but when you are hip deep in family matters and friendships...'no' is not a word that comes easily.  There are people to be appeased and made happy after all.  Southern women are taught young to be martyrs, we are taught through action that we must neglect ourselves for the betterment of our others.  Once we get the chance to put the washcloth, dishcloth, or homework down, we remember, "oh yeah!  I need to keep myself up too!"  The fun thing is doing for yourself without the overwhelming sense of guilt that sneaks in.

I went on a cruise this year, I loved it.  I realized that it wasn't as horribly expensive as I've always believed it to be.  This is something the Honey and I could actually do that wouldn't break us, it was a pleasant thought.  I know we can't do this on the regular, but little things can happen: trips to the coast, a day out in one of the state parks, little things to reset the mind and calm the spirit.  That is something I would like to strive for this next year.  Honey and I are both workaholics.  We push push push to get the day done, and then we go home and work some more, either while we're doing housework or even trying to sleep.  We have both woken up out of a dead sleep and jotted down a problem at the shop or the office that we've figured out.  "Relax" is another not dirty, dirty word.  Resolution?  Sure.  Add it to the list.

Have you ever wanted to feel like your life has purpose?  I mean, real purpose, put your paw print on the world?  Yeah, me too. I have felt like that since I was a teenager.  I have always wanted to do something worthy, something meaningful.  I used to fuss to a college friend that working in the shoe section of a major department store didn't count as making an impact.  He, of course, showed me the brighter side of selling a drag queen the perfect pumps.  Now in the oil field, I know I am part of something bigger than myself, I like that feeling.  I suppose, even as an artist or a designer, I would still make an impact.  People of every skill set are a gift to the world, because the world needs all the unique pieces.

SOOOOO, that being said.  How am I walking into 2014?

*with a diet and exercise plan already intact and in practice
*with firm personal goals in place to release and keep old haunts at bay
*with some damn cute shoes and clothes that fit both my body and my personality
*with the attitude that I'm worth more than the green cotton paper I give my bill collectors
*with the understanding that the past *cannot* be changed
*clinging to the friends that I have rekindled and made
*working daily on my relationships with my husband and children
*leave work at work, and keep home at home

Was 2013 as eye opening and eventful as I thought it would be?  Ummmm, yeah, to say the least.  Now on to some processing and some moving on.  )O(

Happy New Year folks!!

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